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发表于 2010-11-16 10:45:44 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
江南&水乡
俺家孩子四年级,前段时间,老师布置了一篇作文,命题是《我想对你说》。

家人、老师、同学都是可以“说”的对象。可是出乎意料的是,俺家孩子却想对一个很遥远很遥远的人说。

全文如下:

《我想对迈克尔.杰克逊说》

您跳舞跳的很好,唱的也很好,大部分都是自己创作,非常好听。特别是《bad》唱得很激烈,动作很酷,那些观看的人都会激烈而晕倒。您会很多复杂的动作,比如,太空步、45°倾斜、还有很多,但是我忘了,反正两个字:很牛!

你的钱大部分都捐给慈善机构,是全世界的明星当中捐的最多的,一般明星只捐十几万,而您捐了几十亿,非常多。

您小的时候,就很有跳舞的天份,您爸爸很贪钱,所以叫你成天去演出,害得你没有自己的童年,所以你很喜欢小孩,希望每个小孩都有快乐的童年!你成天去帮助没有钱的小孩,贫穷的小孩,你真有爱心,我真佩服你!你真伟大!

可惜,您在2009年6月26日的早晨意外死亡,我再也听不到您激情的歌,我再也看不到您跳的舞了,您创作的新的歌我也听不到了,我也不知道您的怎么死的,现在警方也在调查,如果抓到凶手了,我非得拿把格林机枪扫死他!

您的不幸死亡造成全世界歌迷的悲伤,他们决定以您为榜样去帮助别人。我希望您能复活,但是是不可能的,那我只能在人间祝福您,祝您在天堂过得美好!

老师的批注也是出人意料,红字部分是语文老师的批注:原来你也是迈克尔.杰克逊的歌迷,我也是,在你激情叙述中,我的心再一次沉浸在了失去这位歌王的痛惜中。



 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 10:50:29 | 显示全部楼层
贾大少 作文
2010年-5月

WORLD WAR III-Day of fury
FRANK JIA

This book is dedicated to those who survived the wars all over the world, where many brave soldiers lost their lives.

“Take cover!!!” A fellow soldier shouted as a hail of bullets hit the sandbags.

It was June 25th 2014, 2 months into the third world war. Zach was one of the first to sign up for the army. Germany had set out to invade Europe again.


The bullets stopped, Zach pushed himself up, spotted a German, and shot. The German staggered and fell, probably a person about his own age, with a wife and kids. It has to be this way, Zach thought, we didn’t start this war, we’re just defending ourselves, right? His thought was interrupted by a whistling bomb, probably dropped by the American fighter bombers. A sudden explosion in front of the British trench lit up the sky. What was left of the area was littered by debris and human body parts. Zach took a swig out of his canteen and continued shooting. Twice he narrowly missed a German with a well-aimed shot. At about lunch time he was served a bacon and cheese sandwich with very weak tea. Food rationing wasn’t as strict as it will be in the last years of the war.


“Hey.” Zach’s friend, Mark, sat down beside him, finishing his sandwich.

“Hey there, Mark, have you seen Ron yesterday?” Zach asked, concerned with his friend in the RAF.

Mark shook his head and picked up his sub-machine gun. He looked up as a Canadian C-17 Globe master initiated a smooth turn. Zach also finished by drinking the tea, it slid smoothly down his throat. He picked up his own gun, flicked the safety off, and prepared to shoot. Then, the crack of a shot amplified across the field. So close to me, he thought, if it was a few inches right….Wait, wasn’t Mark on the left of him? He stared at Mark, who was now frowning at the new hole in his chest. Mark didn’t say anything as his eyes rolled back, he crumpled. Zach himself dropped his weapon and went down to his knees.
“Get up, it’s no use, the Germans are coming.” A voice behind him said. It was a veteran from the war that ended a year ago.
Zach nodded, the veteran behind him was right. He was needed at the front lines, Zach then shot Germans savagely, angered by his friend’s death. Finally, at sun down he was tapped on the shoulder by another soldier. He was relived to have survived in the war for one more day. He fell sleep quickly………… As he woke up, he mourned for the loss of his friend. He eventually got up and ate. The next few months passed by quickly. Until, he himself, one day, was a victim of the war.

It was
September 16th, the chilly morning air cleared Zach’s mind as he walked to the front line with the rest of the troops. He was still sad from yesterday, when the commander had told him of Ron’s possible death. Ron was reported missing in action
when his fellow pilots landed at an airfield. At the time Ron was flying a Eurofighter. An older model that is less advanced than the American F-22. Zach jumped hesitantly into the mud filled trench.

British hackers have discovered a message in the German network. It concluded that there was going to be a large scale invasion right here. Without warning, shadows emerged from the morning fog ahead. Zach drew in a breath and started shooting. One by one, British soldiers shot off Germans. Just when Zach reloaded his rifle, a strong blast knocked him down.

“Uhh, tank.” one of the dying soldiers moaned.


Zach brushed away mud and branches; he then stood up and prepared to shoot. Bad mistake, a single shot fired; Zach was blown off his feet. The world before him jumbled together. Various shouts were muted. Then, he could see a medic coming. Then, darkness……………….


Zach woke up thinking that this was heaven. But his thoughts were diminished when someone yelled.

“Nurse! He’s awake!”
A stocky woman hurried in, and took a look.
“What happened to me?” Zach asked, dazed.
“You got shot in the arm. Do you remember anything?” The nurse asked, worried about the possible case of amnesia.
“Yeah, I remember being thrown off my feet.” Zach lay back down to the pillow.
The nurse nodded.

“Well, seems like it’s just a minor wound. You’d be back in the fields in no time.” The woman said and left the room.


Distant artillery fire went on for a few minutes, and then stopped. The crack of gunfire and the boom of bombs turned on and off through out Zach’s stay at the medical centre. He walked often along the battle-scarred paths of the abandoned town. He also had visions of what might have happened here. He walked, slept, and ate in an almost robotic manner until, one day, he got to go back. It was December 5th, Zach was assigned rear gunner for the Jeep Grand Cherokee heading back to the front lines with supplies and healed soldiers. Everything went as planned, Zach shot off some Germans as the jeep stopped to take on a defeated soldier. He was at the front lines within an hour. As he trudged into the barracks, he was greeted by other surviving soldiers. Once in, he was ordered to report to the trench at 6:00 P.M. Zach’s eyelids felt heavy; he then gave in to sleep when he finished setting his alarm


........................................................................................................... Zach ducked as bullets battered the sand bags. Bombs and gunfire illuminated the darkened sky. Zach heard the gunfire stop, he jumped up and shot the first person in sight,. Then again and again, Zach settled into a routine. Duck, shoot, reload, duck,


shoot, reload. Zach slumped back into the muddy walls of the trench, tired by the endless rhythm of artillery fire. He then stood up and shot yet again.
An instant later huge forms crowded into vision.
“Tanks!” a soldier shrieked as enormous machines dominated the battle………
Zach stared at the muzzle of the tank in horror as it swinged towards them. His mind returned to the many times he experienced the pain of almost dying, he also thought of the time Mark died. There would be no going back, Zach thought, I’m gonna die. He then made a brave move. He jumped out of the trench and shot at the tank with a machine gun. Zach then jumped onto the tank and shot into the short muzzle of the tank. The world around him exploded as the tank blew up, taking him with  it…………………………………………….

Zach woke up breathing irregularly. His heart was pounding madly as the memory of going to sleep came back to him, his breathing finally settled as Zach got into gear and went out under the darkened skies. He was greeted by the commander and was told to take another soldier’s spot until dawn. He puffed out white smoke as he walked towards the front lines. When there, he hoisted himself into it and leaned against the walls. He gradually picked up the weapon given to him by the soldier and repeated the never ending rhythm-duck, shoot, reload, duck, shoot, reload. Right then he had no idea how his dream was telling him a message. Then it hit him when huge forms appeared.

“Tanks!” The same voice from the dream shrieked.
 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 10:50:57 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Test 于 2010-11-17 02:56 编辑

He could see now that it was a German Siege tank as it made adjustment to transform into siege mode. The huge forms were more vulnerable that way, but siege mode provided more power than being a tank. Zach screamed as a ‘Goliath’ pointed its machine guns at him, his dream was similar but different at the same time. He kicked into action and ducked as the bullets grazed the sandbags. Exactly where my head was, Zach thought, without that dream, I don’t think I could make it this far…….
He heard that rattle of machine gun fire and the explosion of a tank. He peeked out, his spirits soared! He could see the Goliath up in flames, soon it will explode. He crawled towards a vacant machine gun stand, checked if it was loaded, and started shooting at the tanks. One Siege exploded as Zach’s hail of bullets battered the armor. He shot with fury, pure fury, angered at both of his friend’s death. He got grazed by a bullet, but he didn’t feel anything that was going on outside of his world. He concentrated on winning this war. But, like any gun, he ran out of bullets, he sat on the frozen ground, tired by the endless targets that he wanted to shoot down. He eventually got up and loaded in another set of bullets and scanned around for a target. Found a Goliath, and shot never-ending bullets at it, targeting the crew section of the Goliath. The heavy machine eventually exploded, Zach grinned and looked aside in time to see a well aimed bomb destroy several Siege tanks. What he didn’t see was the missile shot by a German fighter; it cut through the air and exploded about 10 meters from him. The explosion knocked Zach to the ground. He brushed away debris and tested his legs and arms. He’s not injured, so he picked himself up and continued shooting. Today, he thought, I would not die, I would keep pushing the limits until the end of the war, I would not die………..

TO BE CONTINUED…………….


THE Brutal War Begins……

Zach had always been curious about the operations of the army, when the unexpected WWIII begins, he finds himself registering for the army. He had no idea what he is going to experience. After a few months into the war, Zach finds himself friendless and injured. Will he survive, or will he fall prey to the enemy like his friends have???


贾二爷
6年纪
这是刚刚写完,要交的作业

希望不要和我英语一样差







Copyright 2010Team FKA, All Rights Reserved


   
 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 10:53:15 | 显示全部楼层
                                                                Cakka                                                                                       
                        U make my heart smile.

英文水平明显不同,看着她一气呵成,30分钟内写完这篇, 然后偶就想,啥时候偶的英文能到小学水平呢?


The Wild Children

My name is KKKKK, and I’m doing a book critique on The Wild Children, by Felice Holman. Through her book, Felice Holman reveals her thoughts on the Russian government and early-20th century Russia. It talks about an old world, it has a climax, and it has a happy ending, thus fulfilling my criteria for a normal book. It takes place in Russia, after the 1917 Russian Revolution. The Russian people had finally overthrown the Tsar and his family, and the country was now a republic. But the new government was almost as bad as the last one; soldiers had stormed churches, and, quote, “people had been disappearing.” Alex knew that, of course, but he never dreamed it would happen to his family. And when it did, he escaped to his teacher, Katriana, who hid him in her house before sending him to Moscow.
Most stories talks about another world, or an old one. The Wild Children takes place around 1917-1920. At that time, Russia was a place full of homeless, orphaned children, or bezprizorni, which is Russian for “the wild children.” These boys lived in bands scattered across the country in bands, robbing and begging for food, unable to meet their basic needs. They hid themselves from the Russian police and soldiers, living in abandoned cellars or on the streets. After his family disappeared, Alex joined a band of these boys in Moscow, who call themselves “The Baker’s Band.” He learned about their way of living, and soon became quick and silent just like them. One of my favorite parts was Chapter 3, when Alex first saw the cellar where the Band lived; the book described the cellar as a small place, with a hearth in a corner, a heap of clothes in another, and food in the last. At the end of Chapter 3, Felice Holman writes, “......although it was cold, the boys stayed close and warmed each other with the heat of their bodies......all over the city, children slept, but not just in warm beds; children slept in abandoned cellars, on the streets, everywhere.” To me, this is enough to specify that, although the children were homeless and without family, they still had each other to keep company, to keep warm, and to trust. It was like a new family.
Most stories have a climax. It can be the triumphant part, or it can be sad, like The Wild Children. When “old winter’s wind” started to blow, the Baker’s Band travelled south to keep warm. They stayed in a mountain cave with another band. Unlike the Baker’s Band, this band were drug dealers. Two members of the Baker’s Band, Boris and Grigory, joined this band after the Baker’s Band left the cave. Tension had already been building up between Boris, Grigory, and Peter, the Band leader during their stay in the cave. Finally, Boris and Grigory goes back to the band in the mountains. Boris, however, returned for revenge. By giving the location of the Baker’s Band to the Russian police, the Band were taken to a children’s shelter. Now this is the sad part; in the shelter, the director comes to beat the newcomers. Unfortunately, Miska, the youngest member of the Band, was injured so severely that he died. After his death, Peter, Alex, and the rest of the Band escaped from the shelter-----but not before Peter had avenged for Miska by attacking the director in his sleep. During the fight, an accident occurred, resulting in a second death. Thus two were dead, a young boy and an adult, thanks to Boris’ anger and betrayal. I think that’s the climax in this book.
Most stories have happy endings; The Wild Children is no exception. Fed up with life on the streets of Russia, the Baker’s Band travel to Leningrad to look for Basil Sokolov, the brother of Alex’s teacher, Katriana. Before leaving Kovrov, Katriana had told Alex of her brother in Leningrad, who helps smuggle people out of Russia. Basil gives the boys directions to Orangienbaum, where Nicholai the “Fisherman” rows the boys to Finland on his boat. When they were about to leave, soldiers suddenly became suspicious; why would anyone go fishing late at night? No matter what Nicholai said, the soldiers remained doubtful. The boys were on the verge of being discovered, when a soldier decided that Nicholai could be trusted. As they rowed away from his homeland but closer to freedom, Alex realized that he had never felt more excited in his life. One more surprise was waiting for him at Bjorko, Finland; Nicholai’s friends were waiting for them, and one of them was none other than Katriana Sokolova! That, I believe, is the most ecstatic part of the whole book.
The Wild Children is about a boy who had lived in a house, ate at a table, slept in a bed, and sat by a cozy fire. It’s about a boy whose life was turned upside down, all of a sudden, because his family, his parents, his sister, Grandmother, and his uncle, his only family were taken away by the government. It’s about how this boy changed from a normal child to one of the bezprizorni, all in two nights. It’s about a boy whose new family survived the challenges in their home country and, eventually, escaped to a new land. Due to former unhappy experiences with bad books during Novel Study, I thought I might not like The Wild Children. Yet as soon as I started reading, I decided this was probably the best book a teacher had ever recommended to us. So once again, old saying are proved correct; one can never judge a book by its cover.
 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 10:55:06 | 显示全部楼层
Cakka 查看帖子
偶家小姑娘的中文学校作业,中文老师说,让你妈妈帮你修改修改,然后就去发表, 然后偶家小妞跟老师说, 偶妈妈说了NO WAY!


鸽子


在温哥华,最常见的鸟儿是乌鸦,其次就是鸽子。我很喜欢鸽子,因为它们的羽毛颜色比较特殊,不过最主要的原因,就是它们走路的姿势十分可笑。


鸽子的羽毛一般是全灰的,有时脖子那儿会有点儿绿,蓝,和紫色,尖尖的爪子大概是橘黄的。我很惊讶的发现,在这些漂亮的羽毛中,竟有一对通红的眼睛。小脑袋也覆盖着灰色的羽毛,圆溜溜的,像是没羽毛似的,对我来说可以算 “相当光滑”了。但我认为,鸽子最有趣的地方,要算它们行走时的样子啦。


像人一样,鸽子走路时会抬起它们的小爪子,一步一步的走。如同其它鸟类,鸽子走路的时候,它们的头会随着爪子一起移动:爪子抬起来,头缩回来;爪子下去了,头也跟着伸出去。飞快地走起来,那些小鸽子仿佛是在跳舞!


鸽子不但是些美丽的小鸟,某些地方的人们还认为它们的肉有特别的营养,所以不幸的是,在有些地方鸽子会被杀了做菜。幸运的是,温哥华的鸽子们是安全的,希望那些小鸽子们能永远在大街上快活的晃来晃去,在天空中自由的飞翔。


   
 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 10:59:12 | 显示全部楼层
                                        作者: sally                                                                       
                                Shadow within the deep part 1
Chapter 1 the Lab.
This is a weird life in the tank. Eating, swimming and sleeping are all I do every day. I wish I could go back in time to the dinosaur age and meet my ancestor Skorupi aka sss,” Said Lost Experiment Number 89 (LE#89).

* * *
Commander, I have finished experimenting the shark.”
“Well, how is it? Did it happen to have lots of changes? Tell me Sam,” said the commander.
“Um…he went pretty ugly and wild,” said Sam the lab man.

* * *
“In order to get to the time machine, I have to get passed the
laser,” thought LE#89. “But how”.

Chapter 2 Power Out!!
“Wait a minute, the power machine is right about a few feets away from my tank so…if water could get into it then all lab power will go off, that means the laser will go off but not the time machine because it has its own battery,” thought LE#89.

* * *

Where is the power machine,” shouted the lab commander. “I think the experiments heading for the TIME MACHINE!!!!!,”
Yelled Sam.
* * *
“Need water,”said LE#89. “But almost there, wait, are you Skorupi.” “No, I am Experiment Skorupi Number 1 (ES#1).
“Want to come with me to the dino age to see Skorupi?” Asked LE#89. “You know Skorupi? Asked ES#1”. “Yes”.

Chapter 3 Assault!!
Ding! Ding! Ding! “Oh no, the military reinforcements have come, take coOh no too late!!!” “Wait, is that Skorupi aiming THE LASER AT THIS DIRECTION, TAKE COVER!!!!!!!” “BAM,BOOM,ZOOM,BLAST,KABOOM.”

* * *

LET DEATH BE WITH YOU WHERE EVER YOU GO.

* * *

Chapter 4 I vaporized my old swimming teacher.
“Hey what was that!?” Exclaimed LE#89. “What?” Asked ES#1. “Nothing.”Answerd LE#89. “Get over here you all, none of you are getting away,” shouted Mrs. Harrison, my swimming teacher. “Hey, what does this thing do?” asked ES#1. “BEEM” shouted Skorupi‘BAM!’ “Where is she?” Asked ES#1. “That’s a mystery that will remain unsolved,” said Skorupi.

Chapter 5 the Plan
“Skorupi, you are going to need to dig a tunnel so me and ES#1 can go to the island you were just talking about and I have made some thing so we can contact us,” said LE#89.


TO BE CONTINUED IN SHADOW WITHIN THE DEEP PART 2


 楼主| 发表于 2010-11-16 11:00:16 | 显示全部楼层
看到他三年级时候写的一篇作文,觉得挺有意思的~

妈妈们对孩子的感受有时候是又可爱又可气,可是孩子们对妈妈们的感受呢~

《我是个小犯人》

在一个星期天的早晨,我懒洋洋的伸了一个懒腰,慢吞吞的睁开眼睛,只见一个人严肃的站在我旁边,那当然是妈妈啦!她说:“有没有洗脸刷牙啊?”我犹豫了一会儿,说:“没——有”“你看看现在几点,赶紧洗脸刷牙去!”我妈妈说。我慢吞吞的走向洗手间,刷完牙洗完脸,我想:唉!大人怎么这么烦啊!你们觉得大人烦吗?

平时,我做作业的时候,我妈妈每次都在厨房,一边干活,一边远远地监视着我,每次做小动作都逃不过我妈妈的火眼金睛!有一次,我做作业的时候很不专心,老是做小动作。我妈妈这次可真反常,她像箭一样飞了过来,飞到了我旁边,叽里呱啦的说着,就像一个机器人一样不停地说话。我心里想:难道我妈妈真的把我当成了犯人了吗?

还有一次,因为每天起床,我妈妈都要让我喝一杯水嘛!我喝水都喝腻了,有一次我偷偷地把水全部倒在水池里了。可是又被我妈妈发现了,我妈说了我好几句……!然后又重新倒了一大杯让我喝。

后来,我终于改掉了坏习惯,身体也变得强壮!

老师的评语:无论题目还是叙事都能生动、有趣。如果最后多写写对父母的理解就好了。


   
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